I'm jealous of your bromance
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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