From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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