seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
