Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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