a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
