Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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