somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Im part way to drunk.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
