And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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