in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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