Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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