is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
