Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
