booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I deserve this hangover.
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