Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
