you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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