Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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