we're blogging at a bar
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
