Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I am spending my child support on dildos
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
