Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize