Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
