how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
