never play flip cup with pint glasses
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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