Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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