no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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