he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
