ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
