Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
