I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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