i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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