Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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