at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
