hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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