I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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