Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
