Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
