dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
