I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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