Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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