K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
