im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
