That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
