Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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