Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
