I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
