I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
