Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I need a beard to bite.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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