I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize