shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
