Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
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So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
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Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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