its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
