I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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