I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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