So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
