Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
