So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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