I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
