Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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