Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
