I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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