You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
