This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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