I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize