how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
