She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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