I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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