i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
