I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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