theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize