he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize