I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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